What do you do with things that bother you? Get mad in your head? Complain and criticize? Swallow it?

What if that doesn't change anything? Not the thing you're complaining about, not the person, not YOUR own damm world. It hasn't for me. First of all, because I'm a not-yet-recovered perfectionist and two, because that thing I'm complaining about most often has a reason to occur in that exact way as it is.

My new approach is this: I notice the bother, I notice the mad, and then I move on because I want to put my attention elsewhere. I want to feel good, I want to be in the present moment and not preparing a speech to get my point across. I don't want to be in someone else's business. My truth, my thinking, might not even be what's best overall. Again, I ask myself to notice, accept the fact that the world is different than my thinking, and give it the benefit of the doubt.

I used to be addicted to sex. I thought about it constantly. I wanted to be intimate with my husband every night. My life coach Stefan Graebe helped me understand the core of this addiction: I wanted to proof myself that I was worth of love and sex offered a very direct and fulfilling confirmation. I needed to turn towards myself, needed to love myself as unconditional as I could. Boring, right? Almost every therapist tells you that in whichever context. But somehow I achieved that level of love: I am now able to go to sleep without expectations towards my husband, I don't think about it all day long any more, and I'm getting to know myself better and better, because I'm starting to pay attention to myself: I meditate, I give myself time and space for fun and exciting things, I listen to that quiet inner voice, that tells me when I forgot about my own needs and feelings.

Are you a parent? If yes, join me on this journey of loosing my mind, because that's what parenting seems to be for me lately. Over the summer I seemed to have lost ground under my feet. I've done everything to get other people involved in raising my girls but at the end of the day, what they most want, is mama's bosom, metaphorically speaking.

School is about to start. Hope, relief and a deep breath wants to come alive in me. This year, I'm calling up some friends, go sit by the river and celebrate our awesomeness in mothering no matter how often we screwed up. Cheers.